


Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner: ft. A Scared Boi (Conner Comes Over For Dinner and Tim’s Siblings are Overprotective)

by Vigilante of Fanfics (knight_of_the_internet)



Series: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner ft. the Batfam [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-03 18:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14002179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knight_of_the_internet/pseuds/Vigilante%20of%20Fanfics
Summary: A totally uneventful dinner goes down when Conner, Tim's boyfriend, comes over. Absolutely nothing bad whatsoever happens to him, especially not because of Tim's over-protective siblings. Absolutely not. That would be ridiculous. (Is what they want you to think.)





	Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner: ft. A Scared Boi (Conner Comes Over For Dinner and Tim’s Siblings are Overprotective)

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally meant for a Valentine's day upload, but depression, y'all.

 

It was a comfortable winter afternoon. Crisp, snowy air, cozy sweaters, and comfortable silence. That is until the Council of Bats (“it’s too late to change it Jason, we already have it monogrammed on custom stationary”) met to discuss dinner.

 

“Hey guys! Sorry I’m late.” Stephanie greeted as she took a seat next to Cass, recently her official  girlfriend, quickly giving her a kiss on the cheek.

 

Damian scowled as he addressed everyone else, “And whoever decided to invite Brown needs to get a lawyer and a will, because they are officially dead to me.”

 

As Stephanie settled down, she brushed his comment off, and coolly replied, “Damian, if you’re here, then who’s guarding Hades?” The rest of their tablemates snickered.

 

Damian turned red as he hurriedly replied, “What are you even doing here? Won’t your cauldron boil over without your presence?”

 

“Nah, it was perfectly fine when I made out with your sister last night.” Everyone else guffawed and Jason proffered a high five to which Stephanie returned.

 

Cass just rolled her eyes and gave Stephanie a kiss on the cheek.

 

“Alright guys, as much as I would like to see this _very_ entertaining situation play out, we have an agenda to stick to, and cleaning blood out of the mahogany table is not one of them.” Dick finally said, standing up and finally taking charge.

 

“As you’ll notice, Tim is absent from this meeting.”

 

“An improvement if I do say so myself.” Damian complained.

 

“Damian, stop being a little shit.” Jason said.

 

“Damian, be nice; Jason, don’t swear.” Dick reprimanded. “Anyways, as you know, our dear brother is dating one Conner Kent.”

 

“Drake does have a fondness for picking unworthy significant others.” Damien commented.

 

“You do realize that Tim and I once dated, right?” Stephanie asked.

 

Damian glared. “Apparently Cain shares the same trait.”

 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?!” Stephanie exclaimed, starting to get up to attack Damian.

 

“You heard me.” Damian said defiantly.

 

“Why you little piece of-” Stephanie started

 

“Hey, hey, hey!! Both of you, stop. You secretly love each other platonically, but are too stubborn to admit it.” Dick tried to placate them.

 

Stephanie reluctantly sat back down and Damian passive aggressively crossed his arms.

 

“Thank you. Now, back to Tim.” Dick dragged over a whiteboard on wheels.

 

“In T-minus two hours, Kon-El, also known as ‘Conner Kent,’ will be arriving for dinner. He has been dating our dear brother Tim for approximately nine months. If you will please turn to page two of the handout, you will notice several diagrams and floor plans.”

 

His tablemates looked through them.

 

“Why aren’t I sitting next to my girlfriend?” Stephanie frowned.

 

“Cass is friends with Conner, so we put him near her, Tim, and Clark to get him into a safe headspace.” Dick explained.

 

“And I’m next to Steph why?” Jason asked.

 

“The line about kryptonite bullets.” Dick explained.

 

“Mmkay.” Jason said. “What about part two of the plan? Why does Cass get to eat ice cream?”

 

“If you read paragraph four of the summary it would explain why Cass is eating ice cream and you have a bowl of popcorn, while Damien has Colin and I have a phone- it works out perfectly.” Dick explained.

 

After a few double checks and some trial runs, the Council was called for dinner, and the shenanigans began.

 

* * *

 

 

When Colin, Clark, and Conner arrived, everyone was seated at the table for dinner. Bruce sat at the head of the table with Clark to his immediate right. Conner sat between Clark and Cassandra, across from Tim. Of course, Damian sat next to Colin and Dick to minimize the likelihood of a fight breaking out at the table. Jason sat next to Steph because according to her, they’re “totally besties,” to the right of Bruce.

 

Dinner, albeit awkward, went without a hitch. Bruce only stared down Conner twice, and Damian only spewed out a handful of threats all around the table; except for Clark, Bruce, Colin, and Cass of course. Them, he can tolerate; and he likes Colin- who wouldn’t like Colin?

 

“Excellent meal as always, Alfred.” Clark commented, patting his full stomach in contentment.

 

“You’re too kind, Master Clark. Would you all like to indulge in some dessert?” Alfred offered.

 

“Um actually.” Tim said. “Conner and I were thinking that we take ours to-go so that we can watch a rom-com in the movie room… alone?” He asked hopefully, Conner nodding in agreement.

 

His siblings and Steph shared a look.

 

“I don’t know, Tim, maybe you guys should-” Clark started.

 

“At least wait till Alfred passes out dessert before heading out.” Bruce interrupted, earning a curious look from Clark.

 

Tim nodded nonchalantly and waited until Alfred passed out dessert, which was a batch of ramekins with freshly made crème brûlée.

 

With their servings in hand, he and Conner walked hand in hand to the movie room.

 

“What was that all about?” Clark asked once they left.

 

Bruce innocently shrugged and took a deliberate bite of his crème brûlée.

 

“Do you guys know what’s happening?” He asked the rest of the table.

 

They all feigned innocent shrugs and continued eating their dessert in peace.

 

Suddenly Dick, Steph, Cass, Damian, and Jason stood up.

 

“I just realize I have stuff for work to do.”

 

“Cass and I forgot we had a date planned.”

 

“Colin is staying over, and I forgot to get rid of the arsenal in my room.”

 

“I’ve got drug-lordy vigilante agenda stuff planned”

 

All five neatly pushed their chairs in and walked out.

 

Clark sighed in exasperation. “I don’t want to know, do I?”

 

“Depends how much you like Conner.” Jason muttered as he walked away.

 

Clark turned Bruce. “You had something to do with this didn’t you?”

 

“Trust me, it would be worse if I didn’t.” Bruce replied.

 

Clark sighed once again, and noticed Colin being the only one left at the table. “What do you think they’re doing to him?”

 

“Nothing good if what they did to me is anything to go by.” Colin replied nonchalantly as he casually took another bite of crème brûlée.

 

* * *

 

 

In the movie room, Tim and Conner were watching some sappy romantic comedy. They sat on one recliner, Tim settled on Conner’s lap, with his leg swung over the side, and his arms wrapped around his neck, and their desserts long forgotten.

 

Just when Conner was about to wrap his arms around Tim’s waist, they were interrupted by a loud cough.

 

“Ahem, shouldn’t you guys leave some room for the Holy Spirit or something?” Jason commented, a bowl of popcorn in his hands

“Said the hypocrite.” Tim commented coolly, as Conner started to break out into a cold sweat.

 

“Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants.” Jason replied, as he looked at the movie that was playing, “Oooo and I love this movie- mind if I watch with?”

 

“Uh I don’t kn-” Conner started as Jason took the seat right next to the pair, “yeah, sure, go ahead and join us Jason.” Him and Tim shared a look of concern.

 

“Hell yeah.” Jason exclaimed, as he got settled.

 

Tim rolled his eyes in annoyance, but they all continued watching the movie.

 

The next twenty minutes went by without event, Tim snuggled back into Conner’s chest while watching the movie. The two were occasionally interrupted by Jason loudly munching on popcorn, but otherwise, time passed peacefully… until

 

“Tt. Apparently Colin loves this movie as well, so we will be joining you all.” Damian said from the door, walking in with Colin trailing behind him. The two settled next to each other on the floor in front of Tim and Conner.

 

Tim and Conner shared a look, Conner giving off a nervous chuckle and Tim rolling his eyes in irritation.

 

They all continued watching the movie again, Jason munching on some more popcorn, Damian casually leaning against Colin, and Tim snuggling back into Conner’s arms.

 

That is until Steph and Cass walked in hand in hand, Cass holding a strawberry ice cream cone in her other hand. “Hey guys! Cass and I were on our way to a date to our favorite cafe, but it was closed so we grabbed some ice cream and came straight home.”

 

“How unfortunate.” Tim deadpanned, annoyed by his siblings and ex’s antics.

 

“I know right?” Steph replied cheerily, pointedly ignoring Tim’s tone. “We were thinking we could join you all since Cass hasn’t seen this movie yet.”

 

“I wouldn’t be able to stop you even if I wanted to.” Tim deadpanned.

 

“You’ve got that right.” Cass agreed, as she dragged her girlfriend to the recliner on the other side of Tim and Conner.

“Aw babe, you know me so well.” Steph said, giving a brief kiss to Cass’s cheek as she settled on said girl’s lap.

 

They were about to go back to the movie when Dick bust in with his phone set on camera mode.

 

The group groaned.

 

“Hold up, I need to capture this moment for my scrapbook.” Dick explained.

 

He snapped a few pictures and then commented, “Alright, now Cass give your ice cream to Steph so you can wrap your arms around her more comfortably.”

 

As Cass moved to do so, Steph dropped the ice cream all over Tim and Conner’s lap.

 

“Omigod I’m so sorry guys.” Steph quickly apologized.

 

“It’s fine,” Tim said, exasperated. He turned to Conner. “I’ll go grab us some clothes, do you want to head to the bathroom across the hall and clean up?”

 

Conner nodded, and followed Tim when he got up and left the room.

 

Three minutes later, when Conner returned to the movie room before Tim, he found the room completely dark, with the TV turned off.

 

“Hello?” he called out, confused.

 

Suddenly the movie turned on, the light barley illuminating the silhouettes of the Tim’s siblings and ex, each holding various menacing weapons.

 

“Let’s keep this brief, Tim may be able to handle himself but bad, bad things are going to happen if you hurt him.” Dick said, casually creating sparks with his escrima sticks.

 

Conner widened his eyes in shock.

 

“Yeah, he might be my ex, but he’s still one of my best friends.” Steph commented as she twirled a suspiciously green batarang.

 

Conner gulped.

 

“I would do **_anything_ ** to protect him.” Cass added as she stretched and cracked her joints.

 

Conner wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead.

 

“Tell me clone, do you bleed?” Damian asked as he sharpened a sai.

 

Conner considered running far, far away, but stopped at the thought of leaving his boyfriend behind.

 

“If he does, that means he can, well, you know...” Jason added as rolled around a suspiciously glowing green bullet in his hands. 

 

“Pity.” Damian replied, full on glaring at Conner.

 

Conner had had enough and practically ran out of the room in search of Tim when he ran into him.

 

“I’ve got our clothes.” Tim said, indicating the pile of fabric he held in his hands.

 

“But-um, y-your family-” Conner stammered.

 

“I know they’re a handful, but I love them all- even my ex who’s now dating my sister.” Tim said sincerely.

 

The two popped their heads into the theater room to see the family in question watching the movie, to Conner’s confusion and dismay, in the same positions they were in when Tim left, Dick now sitting on the floor in front of Cass and Steph.

 

“Let’s get changed and just embrace out date crashers. What do you say?’ Tim asked, less

annoyed by his family.

 

“Let’s do it.” Conner agreed.

 

Ten minutes later, the two walked back into the movie room, reclaiming their previous positions.

 

They spent the rest of the night laughing along to the main protagonists’ antics in the movie, comfortably cuddling with each other. Nothing notable happened, except when Connor made the mistake of making eye contact with Damian, who just squinted and pointed to the pocket that Conner supposed held his sai.

**Author's Note:**

> There might be some continuity errors with their seating arrangements, but it's not pivotal to the plot.


End file.
